Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!!!

It's a blustery day here at Lake of the Ozark, with a snowflake or two in the wind.  Here at Keys to the Lake we have so many things to be thankful for.  Find 5 things to be thankful for today and have an amazing day! 

Monday, November 29, 2010

3 bedroom rental available

3 bedroom 2 bath condo at Country & Racquet Club available includes water, sewer, trasher, basic cable, internet, weight facility, indoor pool, outdoor pools, tennis courts and much more!!!   Call today

Looking for a new home for the holidays?

We currently have a large list of rental properties available.  Call Nikki today and set up your showing we have 1 bedrooms available all the way up to 5 bedroom homes. 

Joke of the day!

The pastor was looking over the crèche the day after Christmas when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing. He went outside and saw a little boy pulling a new red wagon. In the wagon was Jesus.

We walked up to the boy and said, "Hi, there. Where did you get the baby Jesus?"

The boy answered honestly, "In the church."

"Why did you take him?" the pastor asked.

"Well," said the boy, "I prayed to the Lord Jesus and asked him for a wagon for Christmas. I told Him that if He gave me one, I'd take Him for a ride in it."

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Happy Weekend

We hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving and saved lots of money with shop til you drop black friday!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Happy Turkey Day!

Happy Thanksgiving!  Drive carefully and eat plenty of turkey with all the trimmings!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Almost Thanksgiving!

We hope all is going well with the Thanksgiving Day preperations.  We want to remind everyone to drive safely and that being late is better than not arriving at all!  It looks like tonight and tomorrow are going to be rainy and cool so don't forget the jacket when making a last minute run to the store for that one forgotten ingrediant.

Joke of the day:

There were these two boys who lived with their Grandma. They were about to go to bed but before they slept they prayed. The older son started to pray. He prayed about the day he had and about everything he had done. The younger son then started to pray, he prayed much louder than his elder brother, he prayed for bikes and toys, and when he finished the older brother asked him "Why are you praying so loud? God is not deaf" and the younger son responded and said " Yea but Grandma is"

Monday, November 22, 2010

Rain rain go away!

Wow, it's been a wet and dreary day!  Although it's the perfect weather for some chili, anyone have some good recipe's.  Thanksgiving is coming quick and it's that time of year of Christmas shopping.

Joke of the day:

      It was a few days before Christmas. The trip went reasonably well, and he was ready to go back home. The airport on the other end had turned a tacky red and green, and loudspeakers blared annoying elevator renditions of cherished Christmas carols.
      
      Being someone who took Christmas very seriously, and being slightly tired, he was not in a particularly good mood. (Almost a scrooge) Going to check in his luggage (which, for some reason, had become one suitcase with entirely new clothes), he saw hanging mistletoe. Not real mistletoe, but very cheap plastic with red paint on some of the rounder parts and green paint on some of the flatter and pointer parts, that could be taken for mistletoe only in a very Picasso sort of way.
      
      With a considerable degree of irritation and nowhere else to vent it, he said to the attendant, "Even if we were married, I would not want to kiss you under such a ghastly mockery of mistletoe."
      
      "Sir, look more closely at where the mistletoe is."
      
      "Ok, I see that it's above the luggage scale which is the place you'd have to step forward for a kiss."
      
      "That's not why it's there."
      
      "Ok, I give up. Why is it there?"
      
      "It's there so you can kiss your luggage good-bye."

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Looking for a new home?

Interest rates are lower than ever!  For all your real estate needs call Sherri Weeg.  We hope that everyone is enjoying getting ready for Thanksgiving, but if you're coming to the lake to shop don't forget call Danielle!

Joke of the day:

How to Get Into Heaven

A man dies and mets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Peter says to the man, "Here's how it works. You need to have one hundred points to get into heaven. You tell me about all the good things you've done. They are all worth a certain number of points. If your total is one hundred or more, you can come in."
"Well," says the man. "I was happily married to the same woman for 52 years. I never looked at another woman. I was attentive and loved her dearly."
"That's great," says St. Peter. "That'll be two points."
"Hmmm," says the man. "This is going to be harder than I thought. Well, I attended church regularly, volunteered my time and tithed faithfully."
"Wonderful," says St. Peter, "That's worth another point."
"One point!" says the man. "Okay, okay. I was involved with a prison ministry for twenty-five years. I went into the prison, at least monthly, and shared Jesus with them."
"Wow!" says St. Peter. "That's another two points!"
"Only two points!" says the man. "At this rate, it'll be only by the grace of God that'll I'll ever get into this place."
"Bingo!" says St. Peter. "That's one hundred points! Come on in."

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Rainy Day

It's another dreary day here at Lake of the Ozarks.  Although this is the kind of wether to get ready for the holiday season, and I know any of you who have small children are getting asked repeatedly when they can put up the Christmas tree. 

If you're planning a shopping trip to the lake, come stay at one of our beautiful condos and we'll give you 30% off.  Hurry don't miss the opertunity!

Joke of the day:

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied.
      
      On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear--everything there was! Wow!
      
      Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie - the latest Star Wars epic, and hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola, and MandMs. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
      
      He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?"
      
      One eye opened. The wife said, "You idiot, I meant my dress size!"

Monday, November 15, 2010

New Rentals

Looking for a new place!  Look no further, call Nikki today to set up a property showing in one of our many rentals.

Today looks like it's going to be spectacular, sunny with a high around 60. 

Jokes of the day:
Four-year-old Robert opened the big bible which had been in his family for years.  Absolutely fascinated, he flicked through the old pages.  Suddenly, something fell out of the bible. Robert picked up the object and looked at it.  What he saw was an old dry leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mum, look what I've found', the boy called out.' What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think I've found Adam's underwear!'

Friday, November 12, 2010

TGIF!

Well it's been pretty gloomy today, although a great time tonight to take advantage of a nice warm fireplace with that special someone.  Want to plan a last minute trip to the lake call Danielle and get 30% off any condo rental for the next week!

Joke of the day

Not Gonna Do It
An eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over next to him.
“If you get in the car,” the driver says, “I’ll give you $10 and a piece of candy.”
The boy refuses and keeps on walking.
A few moments later, not to take no for an answer, the man driving the car pulls over again. “How about $20 and two pieces of candy?”
The boy tells the man to leave him alone and keeps on walking.
Still further down the road the man pulls over to the side of the road.
“OK,” he says, “this is my final offer. I’ll give you $50 and all the candy you can eat.”
The little boy stops, goes to the car and leans in. “Look,” he says to the driver. “You bought this ugly station wagon when everyone else got cool SUVs, Dad, but that doesn’t mean I have to be seen riding in it!”.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

New Rentals Available!

2 Bedroom 2 Bath Condos with golf course view $650 a month and includes water, sewer, trash, & basic cable.  Call Nikki to set up an appointment.

Happy Thursday!

Well it looks like we're going to have another awesomely warm fall day here at Lake of the Ozarks.  There not much going on around town tonigth but this weekend don't forget Date Night at Seven Springs Winery the cost is $25 per person for a four course served dinner.  Call the winery for reservations and more information. Make it an extra special night with a condo rental call Danielle for a special Date Night rate!

Joke of the day:
A lion woke up one morning feeling rowdy. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?” 
The trembling monkey said, “You are, mighty lion!”
Later, the lion confronted a deer and bellowed, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?”
The terrified deer stammered, “Oh great lion, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle!”
On a roll, the lion swaggered up to an elephant and roared, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?”
The elephant snatched up the lion with his trunk, slammed him against a tree, stomped on him and then ambled away.
The battered lion hollered after the elephant, “Sheesh, just because you don’t know the answer, you don’t have to get so upset.”.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Wow! What wonderful fall weather

Good morning, and what a suprise there wasn't a coat needed.  It looks like this weeks weather is going to be fabulous!  Lets all try to get out and enjoy it while it lasts, before we know it the snow will be falling.   Come to the lake this weekend and get a special discount, call for details!

Joke of the day:
Little 2 1/2-year-old Kelli went with a neighbor girl to church for First Communion practice. To demonstrate the process, the pastor has the children cup their hands, and when he gives them the “Host” (in this case, a piece of bread) he says: “God be with you.”

Apparently this made quite an impression on Kelli. She came home and told her mother to cup her hands and bend down. Kelli tore a piece of bread from her sandwich, placed it in her mother’s hands, and whispered, in her most angelic voice: “God will get you.”.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Burrrrr it's cold out!

Wow, it feels like fall this morning!  Today lets all get together and help the Sharing Food Bring Hope food drive Osage Beach Premium Outlets at Stocktons from 7p-11p.  What a great way to get ready for the holiday season that is quickly approaching. 

Joke of the day!

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.

The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"

My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."

Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"

He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Good morning!

Oh man, was I happy to not find frost on my car this morning!  It never fails when you're running late something gets in your way, but thank you Jesus today was not that day!  I hope that everyone had a wonderful Wednesday and tonight there is Dinner Theater at the Camden County Museum at 6 pm if you plan to attend this is what you can plan to enjoy.  Production of "Jewel Theives" by Norman Beim presented at 7pm following the 6pm Dinner.  Reservations Suggested $15 per person.  573-346-7191.

Minister: Do you know what's in the Bible?
Little Girl: Yes. I think I know everything that's in it.
Minister: You do? Tell me.
Little Girl: OK. There's a picture of my brother's girlfriend, a ticket from the dry cleaners, one of my curls, and a Pizza Hut coupon.

Hope you have a wonderfully blessed day!

Monday, November 1, 2010

What a chilly day!

Good afternoon, I hope that everyone had a spooktacular Halloween.  Today it's pretty cloudy here at the Lake of the Ozarks but it's not raining.  This week November 4 -6 there will be a dinner theater available to get more information please call 573-346-7191. 

Food for thought - If a dog has puppies on the side of a road is it still considered a litter?